Since I'm new hir, i'll tell you bout myself...
I have a very complicated life..my parents are seperated and they do'nt watch out for me that much..Last September my dad married another women without even informing me..he didn't even consulted me about it..i felt bad about it until now..I live in my mom's haus,but she doesn't care for me...she only notice me when I do bad things(dats y sumtyms I do bad deeds om purpose).what she only do is to scold me..She's also married to another man,and they already have 2 sons(so i hv 2 half brothers)I always fight with my stepdad(u cant blame me for dat,I'm furious..)The only person in the world hu had loved me so much is my ex bf..
My ex bf whom I hav taken for granted..I broke up with him bcoz I sed I nid space..space to patch up things about me and pick up the pieces of my broken life..He understood..he always does..whatever I do to him..he stil continue to love me..until now he's stil on my side, always ready to catch me wen I fall..He said he'll wait for me..
The truth is..I dont want to go back to him because I fil dat I dont deserve all the things he's doin to me..all the good things..
I'm really scared now..coz I dont know wat to do wid my life..

Bugged...stressed..depressed...I'm feel lyk I'l explode..I wanna die now..i really do..my anti-depressant's not working..This is the result of all the hatred I've kept in me for years..after that suicide attempt, i still think I should have died..to stop the fights in our family..I hate this..I hate my life..I hate myself..

3 days ago..my mind was blocked by problems..so many problms that I dunno wat to do..I was so depressed that I hurt myself..but because O can't cut my pulse dat easy, I swallowed 45 tablets of aspirins.That was 4 pm..Still I didn't tell my friends about it,I still had d chance to play sims and spend sumtym with my frends..
7 pm,I felt the effect of the aspirin..I felt so dizzy so I stayed at the terrace of our house with my friend..I kept on crying because of what happened eaarlier dat day..
8 pm,I can't help it anymore..I confessed what I did to my aunt so they rushed me to the hospital..
In the hospital,I can't move coz I,m so dizzy, I kept on coughing..then all went black...
After 1 day,I woke up with lotsa tubes on my body,it hurts a lot coz there's this tube that's inserted on my nose upto my intestines..Beside me was my mom crying..I felt so guilty..

I never told you guys how much I adore butterflies...I really do,I buy stuff dat contains any butterfly figure..
This day..my exbf stayed in our haus(he still stays at my place wen he wants company) I borrowed his eyeglasses so he told me to get it in his bag..den I started to explore his bag..I found this tiny bag with an artificial small rose..So I opened it den he shouted "damn!dat was suppose to be a surprise!..anyway..dts 4 u so open it.." so I was happy because he still givs me stuff eventhough we already broke up(just last week he gave me 3 RnB cds).And he also brought some vcds(american wedding,inner senses,freaky friday,how to deal) he's really sweet and he really stiill loves me..(aaahhh) I continue to open the tiny bag and I saw a silver necklace with a butterfly pendant containing crystal(shwarobski) it was so beutiful..He really made me happy..He's so nice..

monday,oct.13-my algebra finals
tuesday,oct.14-my comm. arts finals
wednesdayoct. 15-i hv so many tings to do..and there's this really awful thing that happened..you see,we're only renting our house and the owner of our haus is rich..dis morning the owner and his family...is massacred..damn ryt...deyr dead..and they are stabbed to death...brutally murdered...i'm so sad bout wat happened,others are too,because they have so many house dat are 4 rent so the residents are all so sad..it was awful..the suspected killers are hidig ryt now...and to think that the owner is very kind and generous, it is very impossible that they have enemies or stuff lyk dat...i tink the reason why dey r killed is PURE MONEY because they'r damn rich...to hell those people who did it..